Yet another reason to love the Big Apple.
(Jk I'm actually starting to adjust)
If there is one
unwritten rule in New York City that nearly everyone adheres to it is the “no
eye contact” rule. But why? Being raised
in the South, I was often scolded as a child if I did not acknowledge
somebody’s presence by making eye contact and greeting them - at the very
least- with a smile. I could understand how having a couple million more people
around could make eye contact and smiles not as practical, but to resort to
straight faces and pretending others don’t exist, just seems irrational to me.
As an effort to
get to the bottom of this unwritten rule, I decided to go (from a New Yorker’s
point of view) uncomfortably “smiley” and seek to make eye contact with
everyone I encountered for a whole day.
Perhaps I, Miranda Fugate, could really be the change I want to see in
the world. (Gandhi style)
My methods were
simple. I wore a not-too-wide, but nonetheless present smile every time I was
moving around in public and made eye contact with people until they met my gaze, at which I would continue to
give them a warm smile and wait for their response.
I used two basic
settings: the street and the subway. In each main setting I also had two
sub-settings. For the subway, I rode a local train as well as the S shuttle
from Grand Central to Times Square (two places you’re guaranteed to find
tourists). As for the street, I walked around Gramercy Park- a fairly
residential area, and Times Square- clearly a tourist attraction.
The results in
local areas were not overly remarkable. The biggest trend I encountered was a
blank look back for about one second. This response was noted across many
demographics. People of all ages, skin color, and apparent socioeconomic status
gave me the same “I don’t care” look and instantly looked away and continued on
in their own world. I found it intriguing that in the same amount of time those
individuals could return the smile and carry on doing what they were doing but chose not to.
Another popular
response was not to acknowledge my invitation for eye contact whatsoever. This
response, my inner 7-year-old self could relate to. But to receive it from so
many grown adults was pretty eye opening for me.
Of course there
were a few outliers. A seemingly local child returned my favor with a wide grin
on the S train. Likewise, I noted that a few elderly women on the 6 train would
respond with a smile. An activist in Grand Central spotted me out in the
hustling and bustling crowd and claimed his reason for stopping me was “I
looked like a friendly person.”
I found it funny
that nearly every tourist I came in eye-contact with was not hesitant to look
and smile right back. Why was this? New York City does not simply attract
southerners like myself, but visitors from all over the nation and world. I
therefore concluded this “no eye contact” rule was seemingly New York specific.
Seeing that the
majority of responses I received were negative or annoyed, I’ve concluded that
not making eye contact with others and minding your own business in New York
City is definitely a social law. Whether on the streets or on the train, if you
are by yourself, it is expected that you divert away from any possible eye
contact and remain in your world- and even more specifically: without a smile.
peace, love, eye contact, and smiles!
- Miranda
