Healing Haiti

Hey everybody! 

I just wanted to share with you that I will be going on a week long mission trip this summer to Haiti.

The way it all came together was quite interesting.

Roughly two years ago, while singing in the choir on a Sunday morning, I had a vision of me using my nursing skills for mission work.

Since then, it's not a topic I've really thought about… Until about mid-February this year. This particular week (valentines week) I had missions really on my mind, but when I looked up the opportunities that my campus ministry offered, they were all right in the middle of my summer semester.

What to do, what to do?

I laid the thought aside for just a bit, until I attended a conference with my campus ministry that weekend in Massachusetts. Within the conference, there was a workshop all about missions-- it was during this workshop that I knew the Lord was really wanting me to find a way to be a part of a mission trip this summer. I didn't think God understood-- I only had less than a month of a summer before I began nursing school again, what mission trip could possibly fit into this time slot?

The following wednesday at our fellowship night, a guest speaker was there to speak about… you guessed it… MISSIONS.

I was very exhausted that night, but decided I had to at least speak to the lady and share with her my new found dilemma. She referred me to another woman present at that meeting who had the perfect organization for me-- Healing Haiti. I had not really given much thought at all to what location I wanted to do missions, but once this woman shared with me that the organization sends out groups every week of the year, I knew Haiti must be the place.

When I got home that night, I immediately turned in my application for the one week that would work with my schedule, not even informing my parents about the decision. The next day, I received an email from the coordinator that my application has been accepted and I will be accompanying a group of believers from Minnesota. 

This group has been so loving towards my spontaneity and it's actually pretty cool because most of us are of a younger generation-- something the coordinator expressed was rare.

I will be doing a variety of things during my time in Haiti: delivering clean water, visiting schools, interacting with nursing home patients, and distributing food and supplies. 

I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for my time in Haiti-- a place He obviously wants me to be. 

If you would like to be a part in this adventure and help me help Haiti, you can visit this link.

https://app.managedmissions.com/MyTrip/mirandafugate1
Will definitely be posting about my experience in just over a month!

Love,

Miranda

To God Be The Glory

“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”- C.S. Lewis

Today marks the fourth Easter of my walk with Jesus. And I have to say, like Winn Dixie, each year gets better all the time.

This time last year, I would've never believed you if you told me I'd be living in NYC a year from now.

YOU CRAZY.

But I have passed the pinch test, this is real, this is not a dream.

In the same token, if my present self could go back to last year's Miranda and tell her all the trials she was going to face in the upcoming year, I would laugh and probz stick my nose up in the air.

That's the beauty of this day, it reminds us where we've been and who we used to be, and how much, by the grace of God, we've been changed.

Just this past week I experienced an immense peace that I had never experienced before. I recognized it as the Holy Spirit literally dwelling in me. It's like I had finally given up the selfish fight and decided to trust God with absolutely everything. Things that used to worry me didn't phase me anymore. Malice and pain I used to harbor inside me were no longer there. Regrets were present, but faded, and a whole new realm of possibilities was presented to me.

What divine timing! That God would choose this week specifically to show me the immense freedom that the cross provides.

I must admit, I encountered a day this week where I decided, "Imma just follow my own will today as an experiment and see if this feeling leaves me." Sure enough, my spirit was not at peace. Reflecting on this now, I realize this was all a lesson, with the main topic being obedience.

When we are obedient to God's divine wisdom, we nourish those fruits of the Spirit-- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Yet when we follow something even as simple as our will for the day, we starve those fruits and instead feed the beast of the flesh.

This was just my lesson of the week! Can you imagine what all the Lord has done for me in this past year?

I have learned that no one can love me the way Christ does, and that it's meant to be that way. I have learned that Christ's love is indeed everlasting-- in both times of my devotion and times of my rebellion. I have learned that nothing is over until He says so. I have learned that He has plans for us that far exceeds our expectations, so why not trust in Him? I have learned that even through our perilous mistakes, He can take the broken and make them beautiful.

I stand (type) here before you admitting that even though I have been tremendously blessed with my dream come true this year, I have spent much of it in the utmost heartbreak, although I tried to fake-it-till-I-made-it as best as possible on social media. I was trying my best to get myself through all the emotions; it wasn't until recently that I finally realized my best was never going to be enough. I simply had to surrender it all to Him.

And now, by the grace of God, and in his own perfect timing, I feel whole again. More whole than I've ever felt. I am surrounded by Christian friends in the middle of New York City. I have surpassed all my fears about nursing school and my future and feel a blessed assurance that I am in the right place, at the right time, surrounded by the right people, attending the right church, and the list goes on...

I say none of this to intimidate anyone but to simply extend the invitation.

I wonder if you, too, have been through a personal struggle this year that has worn you pretty thin? I'm here to encourage you that this struggle--no matter how daunting it may seem, no matter how much of yourself you feel you have lost--can be used as an immense blessing if you would have the courage to hand it over to Jesus, the first abstract artist.

I have the immense blessing of being able to go to a rockin' church service that straight up feels like a revival every Sunday (What is, Hillsong NYC?)

They've recently introduced two new songs that I'm obsessed with

Touch the Sky

and

To God Be The Glory

I'd encourage you to listen to them ASAP

but for now, here's some of the lyrics I really identify with

(from Touch the Sky)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1RQciil7B0

I got so high to fall so far

But I found heaven as love swept low

My heart beating, my soul breathing

I found my life when I laid it down

Upward falling, spirit soaring

I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground

What treasure waits within Your scars

This gift of freedom gold can't buy

I bought the world and sold my heart

You traded heaven to have me again

I take so much comfort in the realization that Jesus traded the greatness of heaven to come down and save ME. Insane in the membrane.

(from To God Be the Glory)

I live that the name of Jesus be lifted high

With Christ, risen from death to life

No longer I

But You alone

To God be the Glory

Such vibes.

Peace and Love (and Christ),

Miranda

I Can See Clearly Now

It's funny how the timing of this world works.

Less than a week ago, I was on a bus back to my apartment, staring out at 2nd avenue, thinking to myself, "I am finally getting used to this place. I think I truly can make it until December."

Little did I know that just two days later I would receive a phone call that would rock my world, and I would need to return home very soon. 

You see, when I left back for the city at the end of winter break, I had decided I was quitting Florida cold turkey. Just when I would begin getting used to the city and the way of life there, I would come back to the country and become immensely confused with life.

Who am I? Where do I belong? Where is my home? I found myself calling New York my home to many people over Christmas, and they would give me condescending looks...

Many country songs have pondered the very question I've been rattling in my brain-- By taking the girl out of the honky tonk, is the honky tonk taken out of the girl?

According to my immense life experience-- I have found it depends on where the girl is at that very moment.

When I come back home, I feel like the movie Sweet Home Alabama is my life. 

I am one version of me in the city and I am a different version of me in the south. I wish I could morph those two people together but it's like oil and vinegar--they don't mix. 

So I made a game plan in January to figure this crap out. I was bound and determined to find myself no matter what it took. I would stop social media, and stay a thousand miles away from everyone who loves me for the next ten months, I would invest myself in my schoolwork and my new friends and I would learn to appreciate the city.

And for the most part, I carried that plan out rather successfully until I found myself on a plane at JFK Sunday night, to return home and honor a man that meant so much to me. 

Things have been different this trip. I woke up Monday and went on a run in my neighborhood, realizing I'd been lying to myself that living in 20 degrees for the past 2 months was fine when I could be basking in these 70 degree Florida mornings. 

I was able to see people I love and grew up with and genuinely tell them I'm enjoying myself in the city. I spent all day yesterday in my beloved second hometown, Cedar Key, lying on the "beach," failing to consider that feet which haven't been roaming around Florida in flip flops for the past 6 months probably require some SPF protection.  

I was able to shop in the Target dollar section which is a blessed event I look forward to, since the only Target in Manhattan is all the way up in Harlem (further and sketchier than you realize), and was able to laugh at myself for still not knowing how to navigate Butler Plaza after 20 years. 

Something that I love to do when driving back home from Gainesville in warm weather is ride down Mr. Philpot's road. It's honestly my favorite road in the whole world--- 10xs better than any street in the city. 

As I drove, the song "I Can See Clearly Now" came on. 

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for

It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

The lyrics were hitting home (no pun intended). Though the obstacles in my life haven't magically disappeared; for some reason, this trip home has helped me to identify them more clearly. 

And I think a combination of this being a classic song as well as driving past his house made me wonder what Mr. Philpot would say. 

And suddenly I knew.

He would ask why the heck I was avoiding the place and people that I love. He'd probably tell me straight up-- that is stupid.

He'd also tell me to keep being myself and to keep loving people. 

I think he would tell me people changing is a part of growing up, but at the same time to always be true to myself.

My intention is not to be morbid, but I think I learned my last life lesson from Mr. Philpot this week... and I'm thankful for it.

Dear Mr. Philpot

Dear Mr. Philpot,

I love you.

Though my eyes are brimmed with tears, my heart overflows with joy as I am confident about where you are right now. 

You were my hero in so many ways.

You taught me that being passionate about something is a good thing, and encouraged me to never give up.

You showed me and many others the love of Christ through selfless and unconditional love. 

You gave me an undying love for the National FFA Organization.

You encouraged me to be who I am--  to be a leader, and not a follower.

You lead me outside of my comfort zone so many times-- forcing me to give my speech to a bunch of uninterested juniors and seniors until I got it just right.

You demonstrated patience when I needed it, and discipline when I needed that. 

You taught me that if I did my best, then that's all I could do. But, if I didn't do my best, then why complain-- that's my own fault, work harder next time. Actions speak louder than words. 

You showed me that life doesn't have to be so serious--that humor is a good thing.

We shared our love for good eats-- although if you were here, you would still argue with me that a ribeye is the best cut of beef and I would argue for the filet.

You showed me that happiness is an essential part of life. And around you, I don't think anyone was ever unhappy (unless they were being scolded :))

I think very few people in this world can see right through me (at least I hope) but somehow, I always knew that you could. If I was doing something that didn't make me happy, you didn't have to voice your disapproval-- I could just see it in your eyes.

You taught me that we may all have our opinions, but sometimes it's wise to just keep it to ourself. 

Although you yourself were known to be outspoken, you would never say something to intentionally bring somebody else down. I believe you saw the best in everybody.

To be honest, I had no idea this day would come.

I imagined you being one of those people I would see at my wedding.

But all the sudden. Boom. You're gone.

And although I am so happy for you to be where you are now, I must say I will miss you dearly.

I thought you would be there for me to periodically have lunch dates with for the majority of my adult life.

I thank you for all our Ivy House outings, and for caring enough to consistently check up on me since I graduated. 

But I will miss your wisdom. I will miss your world view. I will miss your hugs and I will miss your laugh and I will miss the light that was always in your eyes. 

I think the hardest part of all of this is realizing all I have left now are a few pictures and memories-- and knowing that those memories may fade away. 

But for now, the memories are vivid. You blaring Pirates of the Carribean music in your truck on the way to Meats competitions, walking around Winn Dixie and quizzing us on all the cuts of meat, having a pep talk before every Parli Pro competition, giving me a warm hug when that girl slammed the door at State Convention and I completely forgot my speech, calling me crazy for getting chicken at Sonny's after every meats competition, calling me "Top-Knot" when I had embarrassingly short hair and wore it in a bun,

"are you afflicted?"

"that's your seat until the Lord comes back!"

"mean spirited!"

Mr. Philpot, you're a legend in both the Williston community and Florida FFA. And the best part about it is I don't believe you ever intended to be one.

I wish I could be selfish and say this loss is so personal but you've had a unique impact on so many people-- your love didn't have limits. 

But I just wanted you to know that I appreciate the impact you've had on my life, I love you, and I will dearly miss you.

You told everyone "be safe" when they left your presence. And now you've left ours, undoubtedly as safe as can be.

But until then, Mr. Philpot, I'll be safe… and will see you soon.

Love, 

Miranda

(You Betta) Lose Yourself

You might wonder why I haven't posted anything for awhile.
In short: I had an quarter-life crisis.

Since winter break, life has been simultaneously drawn out and a blur. I have begun my nursing program and my routine has become study, sleep, cry… and repeat! What a whirlwind.
Last semester was such a luxury. I had three classes and explored the city on the daily. Now, I've begun to wonder why I even live in the greatest city in the world when it looks like I'll be trapped inside with my nose in the books for the next 18 months.
Sigh.

But then there's those moment when you do go outside...
And the Chrysler building is just right. there.
I think back to when I was fifteen years old. I wanted so bad to be in college already. So I could do what I want, so I could date who I want, so I could live on my own, and never make my bed (because making a bed that you're just going to get back into that night is useless.)

Never did I ever imagine that at the mere age of twenty I would be living in the city of my dreams.

That I would be walking down the street on a cold night such as this with the best cup of hot chocolate in my hand, staring at the Chrysler building like it's no big deal.
Never did I ever imagine I would be riding with a car full of great friends in Queens looking back on the Manhattan skyline and think "Wow. I live there."

I flash back to a perfect night in Cedar Key, Florida. The last night of winter break before I flew back to the city. Staring at the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen.

I expressed my melancholy mood to my mom.
"It's like...
You're in Rome and you dream of New York
You're in New York and dream of Cedar Key
You're in Cedar Key and dream of New York…"
She told me this state was called discontentment with self.

So who am I, to be staring at my favorite building, living out my dream, and not loving every second of it?
That's just it. I don't know who I am.

I'm now in college. I don't have time to do what I want, my last concern is dating, I miss living with my family, and I make my bed almost every day...
Is there a conclusion to this blog other than "such is life"?

As humans, we are adapting creatures. I feel myself adapting. Sometimes, I take one step forward, and three steps back. What's important is that I continue stepping forward, no matter the drawbacks that come with life, because everything in life can be turned into a lesson.

And so I designate this the "T. Swift" stage of my life.
Just like her, I'm finding myself to be slowly falling in love with the city-- and with who I am becoming.

Peace and Love,
Miranda

P.S. I am no longer on social media (part of the early life crisis regime), so please leave any comments directly on the blog if you want me to see them :)

Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo Dat (Being Cordial)

Just wanted to share a social experiment I had to conduct for class.

Yet another reason to love the Big Apple.

(Jk I'm actually starting to adjust)

If there is one unwritten rule in New York City that nearly everyone adheres to it is the “no eye contact” rule.  But why? Being raised in the South, I was often scolded as a child if I did not acknowledge somebody’s presence by making eye contact and greeting them - at the very least- with a smile. I could understand how having a couple million more people around could make eye contact and smiles not as practical, but to resort to straight faces and pretending others don’t exist, just seems irrational to me.

As an effort to get to the bottom of this unwritten rule, I decided to go (from a New Yorker’s point of view) uncomfortably “smiley” and seek to make eye contact with everyone I encountered for a whole day.  Perhaps I, Miranda Fugate, could really be the change I want to see in the world. (Gandhi style)

My methods were simple. I wore a not-too-wide, but nonetheless present smile every time I was moving around in public and made eye contact with people until they  met my gaze, at which I would continue to give them a warm smile and wait for their response.

I used two basic settings: the street and the subway. In each main setting I also had two sub-settings. For the subway, I rode a local train as well as the S shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square (two places you’re guaranteed to find tourists). As for the street, I walked around Gramercy Park- a fairly residential area, and Times Square- clearly a tourist attraction. 

The results in local areas were not overly remarkable. The biggest trend I encountered was a blank look back for about one second. This response was noted across many demographics. People of all ages, skin color, and apparent socioeconomic status gave me the same “I don’t care” look and instantly looked away and continued on in their own world. I found it intriguing that in the same amount of time those individuals could return the smile and carry on doing what they were doing but chose not to.

Another popular response was not to acknowledge my invitation for eye contact whatsoever. This response, my inner 7-year-old self could relate to. But to receive it from so many grown adults was pretty eye opening for me.

Of course there were a few outliers. A seemingly local child returned my favor with a wide grin on the S train. Likewise, I noted that a few elderly women on the 6 train would respond with a smile. An activist in Grand Central spotted me out in the hustling and bustling crowd and claimed his reason for stopping me was “I looked like a friendly person.”

I found it funny that nearly every tourist I came in eye-contact with was not hesitant to look and smile right back. Why was this? New York City does not simply attract southerners like myself, but visitors from all over the nation and world. I therefore concluded this “no eye contact” rule was seemingly New York specific.

Seeing that the majority of responses I received were negative or annoyed, I’ve concluded that not making eye contact with others and minding your own business in New York City is definitely a social law. Whether on the streets or on the train, if you are by yourself, it is expected that you divert away from any possible eye contact and remain in your world- and even more specifically: without a smile.

peace, love, eye contact, and smiles!

- Miranda

OOTD

One of the great things about New York is you can literally wear whatever the heck you want. Yesterday, I was sick as a dog-- but in hopes of finding some truth in the saying "look good, feel good," I dressed up. 

My outrageously hoochy top is from GITI. The front is super cool, the back is a bit too much, but in fear that it would be the last hot day in the city, I wore it anyway.
My high waisted jeans are a steal from Pac Sun, I paid $9.99 for them at the beginning of the summer.
My boots were also a sales item at Pac Sun.

This earring set is from Forever 21. I love the top piece that wraps around your ear-- whenever I feel like it, I can act like I have more piercings than I actually do.

I kept my makeup simple. MAC's matchmaster foundation, Soft Brown on my eyes and for contouring, and a NYX mauve lip stick. 

 I'm in love with this new necklace from Forever 21. It has a nice thick chain and comes with a whole alphabet of letters so it can say whatever you want! Of course I went with Rambo.



Peace and Love,
Miranda